As my good friend and brother Fred approaches his wedding day, I thought I’d publish this word of warning to him, or any man who is considering this endeavor. Please read it carefully and let me know what you think.
- Food will never taste the same. What I mean by this is that there will still be times in most men’s lives when they will have to make their own meal. These meals will always be lacking something. The dissatisfaction partially ruins eating; the worst part is you will never be able to really pinpoint why you didn’t like a particular meal. There will just be general disappointment. Going out to eat is no longer very enjoyable either. Your wife’s home cooking will ruin going out for you.
- Say bye-bye to that fat savings account. Your desires for earthly things will diminish as you try to lead another person, and hopefully children, into a sanctified life absent of coveting. The realization that you must lead from the front in this area will result in less technology and sports apparel purchases and more giving, both to your family and to God and His church. Soon, what little you thought you had will be gone, replaced with a smile and a cheerful, giving heart.
- There will be a lack of joy in your life. All your blind, self-love will diminish. You will hate yourself more all the time. I’m not talking about pop-psychology self-loathing, but rather a sort of godly type of self-abasement whereby you will see all of your sin and shortcomings in light of how much they hurt her. Every time you are rude or insensitive or prideful or lack compassion, it will be magnified. But for the first time, you’ll really care. That lack of joy? That’s a lack of the ignorant bliss you once felt while deceived about your own sin.
- Your life will become even busier! You’ll spend more time praying. Remember when you were too busy to pray? Forget that! Now you will find yourself praying at strange times. Your love and concern for your wife will bring you to your knees in a way like never before. Sure, we’ve all hit our knees, but when praying for ourselves, some part of us always (I think) “knows” that somehow we’ll get through stuff by our own power, at least a little bit. Wives have a way of helping a man truly submit to God with his requests and admit his own helplessness.
- You will find out how little you know about God and His Word. As you “establish” rules (sometimes called putting your foot down) as the head of the household, you will be challenged to defend them by providing scripture. Your own traditions and presuppositions will become painfully obvious to you. Other random questions from the wife and the kids will magnify your ignorance. This will thrust you into deeper study. See #4
- You will lose confidence. Your self-reliance: gone. Not only will you become more dependent upon God to meet your needs, but your entire life will become quite dependent upon her. Like #1 one, you may even forget how to do certain simple tasks like wash clothes or put dishes away. Note: It is not that these things are no longer necessary, you just don’t do them because someone is helping you. A quick warning, you might be reminded periodically if you fail to “notice.”
- Your job will start to be unsatisfying. When you go to work, you will really miss your wife. You will wonder how you ever lived before knowing her. You know there was a time ‘before her,’ but you won’t be able to recall much about that life, or at least anything thatis worthy of comparison to even the hardest times you face now.
In conclusion, if constantly enjoying food, becoming more dependent upon God and finding love greater than any love but Christ’s sounds good to you, please do find a Christian woman and marry her.
Tamara Slack says
Okay, I don’t like the title. I think the titles of blogs should reflect what the post is about, but this seemed to be “shocking” thus people would read it, however, I think it may do the opposite (maybe). That’s my criticism. I think you made good points, though.
I’d like to see more encouragement (speaking now in general) for Christ’s Bride in your blog posts. You are gifted in evangelism, and in putting thoughts together to make valid and biblical points (and in debate! lol), but I would love to see compassionate posts – you know how we say the church is not for those who are well, but for sick people? We all are so sick with sinfulness that we battle and our weaknesses, that we need to hear the indicatives of God’s Word more than the commands; more grace, less law. We need to hear messages of hope too 🙂 I’ve seen you grow in this area and would challenge you to read the book, “Because He Loves Me” by Elyse Fitzpatrick. I think it would make a huge difference in your posts.
Alrighty then, how’s that for not being indifferent? Ha! Love in Jesus to you! Tamara
I thoroughly enjoyed this Michael.
Canyon Shearer says
I think you’ve just about talked me out it. 😛 I’m still in that “girls have cooties” stage, but it’s slowly but surely wearing off. Great post, well written, shows a lot of love to your wife and some great advice.
For my own reasons I choose not to marry. NO fornication no adultery
controlling lust are their any benefits