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We’ve all been there. You’re belting it all out for Christ, everything is flowing nicely, then suddenly, the lyrics STOP RHYMING. But it’s not just that there’s a bad rhyme that’s bothersome. It’s the fact that the author appeared to try to find words that were “close to rhyming” that just seems awful. Or even worse — the words are spelled the same, yet pronounced distinctly.
In the spirit of fun, I intend to allow this webpage to be a list of poorly rhyming hymns. Feel free to add a comment with your favorite (and be sure to credit the author where applicable).
Note – This is just a start! Let’s have fun with this and keep adding more.
Was it for crimes that I have done, He groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity! Grace unknown! And love beyond degree!
Thus might I hide my blushing face; while his dear cross appears;
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness, And melt mine eyes to tears.
But drops of tears can ne’er repay The debt of love I owe.
Here, Lord, I give myself away; ‘Tis all that I can do.
Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come;
‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home.
And can it be that I should gain An int’rest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain — For me, who Him to death pursued?
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Behold Him there, the risen Lamb My perfect, spotless Righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself, I cannot die My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high With Christ my Savior and my God
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy, never ceasing, Call for songs of loudest praise
Here I raise my Ebenezer, Hither by Thy great help I’ve come
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger, Wandering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger, Interposed His precious blood.
Oh, that day when freed from sinning, I shall see Thy lovely face
Clothed then in the blood washed linen, How I’ll sing Thy wondrous grace
Fairest Lord Jesus, Ruler of all nature, O Thou of God and man the Son,
Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor, Thou my soul’s glory, joy and crown.
Beautiful Savior! Lord of all the nations! Son of God and Son of Man!
Glory and honor, praise, adoration, now and forevermore be thine.
Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
I made an error recently which resulted in $70 in overdraft fees in my ministry account. I felt really bad about this and that the stupid mistake I made had cost so much money. I want to be a good steward in all my affairs, but I feel especially obligated to be watchful with money donated for God’s work.
This morning I called Bank of America and just threw myself on the mercy of the person who answered the phone, Ben, and I asked him if he would reverse the fees as a courtesy to me.
And he did! I was so thankful! That would have been enough to make it a great morning.
But then he started asking about the ministry, and we ended up talking about the Lord Jesus Christ for several minutes, too; it was very encouraging. He was glad to hear of our preaching ministry and wasn’t ashamed to talk about the gospel! Praise the Lord!
Michelle Lesley has graciously let me post at her blog again. I hope you’ll read it and comment.
Here is the post:
Mackerels, Schmoley, and the Spirit of God
In 2016 I decided to keep track of my church attendance. I have been impressed by sermons and posts online about the importance of local church membership and attendance. I hope that this does not become some type of legalistic standard for any to follow. My intention was to measure my church attendance in 2016. I don’t actually know quite how to interpret the results, but here they are if you are interested.
My church meets Sunday morning for Sunday School, then again for a service, then again Sunday evening. We also have a Wednesday night prayer meeting.
All that being said, with the various cancellations in 2016, my church offered 205 opportunities to hear God’s Word and pray with the brethren.
I attended 84% of those services or 172 times.
I attended another church 10 times when it was at the same time as my church, bumping my total attendance to 182 meetings or 89% of possible time. Or seen another way, I attended my church 88% of the time after “excused absences.”
If I subtract out family matters which kept me from church, my overall attendance rises to 94%.
I don’t know if that is good or bad or whatever. It is just what it is. I do know that if a person just attended my church on Sunday morning for one service, they’d have a 25% attendance rate so it is better than that. If I only went to 3 of those services each week, I’d have a 75% rate.
I also taught or preached 25 times. That is about 5 months of teaching once a week. This was spread all throughout the year. But out of 205 “services” I ministered 25 of them, meaning I teach about 12% of the time, or every other week on average.
So how are you doing? It is early enough in 2017 for you to start keeping track and seeing how you do. What would your commitment be if you bought season tickets to a sports team? Better than 94%? I think this is a thoughtful way to try to measure yourself without condemning yourself or finding your hope in your church attendance. If anything, I hope it would help you in some way.
Twas the middle of the week. Thursday, I believe. We’d been talking about Noah and the flood all week, and we were looking at being thankful to God for His protection and provision.
I had a poster depicting Noah burning an animal on a stone altar. I asked the children, what did Noah do when he got off the ark?
“He burned an animal!” came the astute replies.
I asked, “Why did he do that?”
“To show he was grateful to God!” they said.
Seeing wonderful opportunity I told the children, “That is exactly what we are going to do. We are going to burn an animal too to show God we’re thankful!” The discomfort was palpable. Mission accomplished.
At this point I glanced across the room at my trusty helper, Kenton, a 7th grader. My class was used to me picking on Kenton by now. I said, “Kenton: did you bring the squirrel I told you to catch?”
Kenton sat and stared. I think he knew I was kidding, but he didn’t know what to say. It was perfect. To a more gullible being, Kenton appeared to have been caught in the act of not doing what he was told.
In my best I’m-disappointed-in-you voice I commented, “I ask you to do one lousy thing, and you can’t do it?”
It was at this point a student named Hayden piped up and said, “Let’s burn him, then!”
And that, my friend, is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard said by a student at VBS.